My boyfriend has moved in! I started writing this post back in August, at which point we had mostly decided this was happening, but kept waiting to publish it since I didn’t want to jinx it! He moved his furniture in this past week and we’ve been working on rearranging things. We have a ton of duplicates (even some triples and quadruples…): some of which we’ll keep, some we’ll donate, and some we’ll sell. It is super exciting and scary all at the same time. He’s been unofficially living at my place for months now, so we’re just making it official now and saving some money (mostly him, but me too). My fixed expenses are going from $2,000/month down to $1,600/month (only $600/month once the mortgage is paid off!).
We’ve been splitting groceries all year, so we’ve got that down pat. We have our checking accounts linked so we can transfer money to each other super easily (free and instantly from the website or app for our credit union!), without seeing the other’s balances, and we’ve also opened a joint checking account that we’re slowly figuring out what we’re going to use it for (currently: groceries and travel). We’re on the same page with savings and investment strategies and what we do with bonuses and other extra money and we know how much money the other has and makes and such.
The big question though is what to do about housing expenses. If we were renting apartments, it would be easy. We would look for a new apartment, probably a two bedroom + den, move into it together, and split everything 50/50. But we’re not renting apartments. Also, ew are those types of apartments expensive at $3,200/month! I own my condo (well 2/3 of my condo) and it is a good size for the two of us, while my boyfriend was renting an apartment.
What I’ve seen some people do is just split everything down the middle when they move in together, even though one person owns the place. I don’t want to do that because of the amount of equity I have. I also don’t want my boyfriend to pay me rent or for him to see me as a landlord. Everyone assumes he will pay me rent and are super confused when I say that he’s not. This is a serious, long-term relationship. Plus, my HOA rules don’t allow for only renting out part of my unit.
So what we’ve agreed to do is to split all of the outgoing expenses other than the mortgage 50/50. Logistically, this means taking a look at all of the expenses, adding them up, and then arranging the puzzle pieces so that we each pay for unique line items that add up to the same amount. This means me paying the property taxes, him paying the HOA dues, and then us splitting the utilities (electricity and internet) evenly. I look at it that the mortgage payment is mostly principal at this point, so it is part of my savings strategy, just like my boyfriend’s rent savings will go to his savings strategy.
It’s been pretty fun him slowly moving in over the last few months and decorating the condo together :) It’s shifting from my place to our place as we move more and more of his stuff in and rearrange the furniture and as we buy artwork and new furniture together. I look forward to years of this!
If you have any questions about how we decided to split expenses or how we’re doing it, go for it! We’re still figuring this out as we’re going and nothing is really set in stone yet.
P.S. I finally told him about my blog a couple of months ago and he seemed to think it was kind of cool! I’m trying to convince him now that he should write a post sometime ;)